So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
