She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i need some magic done to my vagina
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
