Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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