You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
