She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
