I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
