I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize