My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I need to align my fucking chakras
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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