I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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