all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
