Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
