Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I think people are normalizing furries
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
