I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
