you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
