I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
