I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
bring money and cleavage
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
