with your own penis?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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