Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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