I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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