Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
