Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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