He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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