i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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