I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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