is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
