Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize