I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
