i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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