just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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