What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
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Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
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Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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