I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Someone came in the potted fern
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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