I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize