i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
