Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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