i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
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I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
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It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
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