My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
