so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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