No, you can still breathe under the balls.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
