We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
