So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
