if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
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Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
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I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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