I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Actions speak louder than pants.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
