They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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