I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
