So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
