This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize