i wish starbucks made bloody marys
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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