I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
