at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
