Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
