Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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