Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
