This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
