On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
