we have pet lesbian snakes
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
