Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Ladies don't puke and tell
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