Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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