The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Sober January is a disaster.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
