You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
